A group of colourists from Kempton Park, Gauteng are cautiously optimistic that South Africa’s much harangued leader, President Jacob Zuma, will soon cease to exist.
The trio, who wish to remain anonymous pending success, explained on Wednesday that they are employing a volatile mix of The Secret® lifestyle philosophy and the popular “mindfulness” adult colouring-in books to deny Jacob Zuma right out of existence. They call their technique “deaffirmation”.
“Most South Africans do it naturally anyway,” the group’s leader said. Indeed a recent survey indicated that 92% of South Africans have been in denial about the ANC leader at one time or another. Our problem, according to the group, it that it is done so haphazardly it hasn’t had the desired effect.
“We need to be collectively more intentional about denying Jacob Zuma’s existence.”
This isn’t the first time that a South African leader has been denied out of existence. The current whereabouts of Zuma’s predecessor, Thabo Mbeki, remain unknown. Nor has the country’s previous regime proved impervious to this kind of existential assault. The common opinion today is that FW de Klerk denied himself out of existence somewhere around the time of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s inquiries in 1997.
President Zuma has come under increasing fire for his lavish spending and controversial comments to the effect that the ruling party is more important than the country.
If he does spontaneously cease to exist he will be survived by several wives and innumerable children and grandchildren.
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